Phil Collins Groovy Kind of Love

Writer: WINE, TONI/SAGER, CAROLE BAYER

When I'm feelin' blue, all I have to do is take a look at you, Then I'm not so blue. When you're close to me I can feel you heart beat I can hear you breathing in my ear.

Wouldn't you agree, baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love. We got a groovy kind of love.

Any time you want to you can turn me on to anything you want to. Any time at all. When I taste your lips Oh, I start to shiver can't control the quivering inside.

Wouldn't you agree, baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love. We got a groovy kind of love.

When I'm in your arms nothing seems to matter If the world would shatter I don't care. Wouldn't you agree, baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love. We got a groovy kind of love. We got a groovy kind of love. We got a groovy kind of love

How to discern if you're only his whore

Does he call:
A. Only when he's horny?
B. Only when he needs something?
C. Only when he thinks you're horny?
D. To see how you are then starts flirting or referencing sex?

If the answer is any of the above, you are only his whore.

Does he invite you anywhere other than his couch or bedroom?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Does he have to squeeze you into his schedule and only has time for an in person visit that is just long enough to have sex?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Does he walk you to your car when your visit is over?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

When you invite him places, does he:
A. Go only if he knows none of his friends frequent those places.
B. Goes but leaves early to meet his friends elsewhere?
C. Has excuses as to why he is unable to go.
D. Is always too busy to go.

If the answer is any of the above, you are only his whore.

Does he offer cunilingus?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Does he expect fellatio?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Does he call or text afterwards to thank you for the fun?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Is he frisky or handsy during most of your interactions but says he does not want a commitment or relationship with you?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Has he ever told you he has no feelings for you or that you should be with someone who does have feelings for you?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Does he encourage you to date other people?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Is he okay with your discussing, referencing, or talking about other males who may or may not just be your friends?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Does he offer or seem to enjoy cuddling with you?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

After the first few times, does he still allow open mouth, straight yo French kissing?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Do you have to leave his home within 15 minutes afterwards? Does he have to leave your home within 15 minutes afterwards?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Does he surprise you or do nice, little things for you without your asking? (Gifts, flowers, unexpected visits, cards, texts about your day or his, etc.)

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Has he introduced you to his friends?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Does he know anything about you, notice things, or pay attention to details? (Favorite color, flower, food, color of your eyes, hair cuts / styles, clothes, etc.)

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Does he call you when he's happy, has good news, wants to share his good day, or just to hear your voice?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Does he seem genuinely interested in you?

If the answer is "no," you are only his whore.

Is his kindness part of an ulterior motive?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

Has he referenced wanting to be part of your life or knowing when you have news to share?

If the answer is "yes," you are only his whore.

This is not a complete list and is not meant to be used to gage whether or not you are friends or are in a meaningful relationship. This guide is for entertainment purposes only. Males are very simplistic and dubious.

My holiday tree.

Soundtrack my life

Just used #SoundHound to find I Am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel http://bit.ly/fjL3xw #nowplaying

Burger King

Burger King ran out of syrup and forks. Hope your heart is not set on pancakes or waffle!

Casey Anthony prediction

She's going to meet and marry her own Kevin Federline. After he divorces her, he will sell her story and secrets to sign a book deal. If they have kids, he will either win custody or stick her with them. If he sticks her with them, the public will have her under close scrutiny. He will then become an entertainer of some sort and have his own reality show.

OJ will reach out to Casey and ask her to consider writing "If I did it, Part 2."

George and Cindy will divorce. George will find it difficult to find a mate. Cindy will remarry and possibly run a foster home.

#SoundtrackMyLife

Just used #SoundHound to find Me and Bobby McGee [*][Demo Version] by Janis Joplin http://bit.ly/cuEYgg #nowplaying

Ethnocentrism

Some puerto rican female was just honking her car horn, yelling at me in spanish, knocked on my car window, spoke spanish again, then yelled, "You're so nasty," when I replied, "I don't speak spanish." Who's racist and ethnocentric?

Abortion & birthdays

If you are anti abortion, then you should be celebrating conception dates - not birthdays. After all, you believe conception is the beginning of life. Then you are a hypocrite for not celebrating that day. Life does not begin upon entering the birth canal. That's your logic. Just something to think about.

Osama bin Laden

Osama bid Laden has been killed, but that does not mean he did not have a second in line. It does not mean we are going to be safer. It does not mean we no longer have threats.

Donald Trump for president

Donald mentions Obama was not a good student but made it into ivy league schools. Did he mention George W Bush? No. Did he mention any other mediocre or below average student who made president? No. Did he mention his grades?

Who trusts a male with that comb over?!

Transmitted via handheld device. Please excuse abbreviations, brevity, typos, and tone inferred. Thank you.

Donald Trump for president

Donald mentions Obama was not a good student but made it into ivy league schools. Did he mention George W Bush? No. Did he mention any other mediocre or below average student who made president? No. Did he mention his grades?

Who trusts a male with that comb over?!

Transmitted via handheld device. Please excuse abbreviations, brevity, typos, and tone inferred. Thank you.

Untitled

Just used #SoundHound to find Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter by Herman's Hermits http://bit.ly/b2lHQ0 #nowplaying

Untitled

Just used #SoundHound to find Give a Little Bit [Studio Version][#] by The Goo Goo Dolls http://bit.ly/9k8VAY #nowplaying

Untitled

Just used #SoundHound to find Hotel California by Eagles http://bit.ly/awmNbZ #nowplaying

Bras - its a never-ending quest

Maritza at Newman Marcus was extremely helpful, but I'm between sizes. I'm convinced Victoria's Secret and Frederick make their bras small to pump our egos into thinking we have bigger breasts than we do. I'm a 34DD / 34D / 32E depending in make. Le Mystere is oddly shaped for my type.

At Victorias Secret, the girl said 32C and 34DD are sister sizes and that books are supposed to bulge and look like four. She offered to measure me, but I told her if a 34DD makes me bulge in the cup, and the band is too loose, I doubt shed find a better solution. She was persistent, which led me to believe she's not that intelligent. Down a band, up a cup - not the other way around.

John Quinones

John Quinones claims his constituents are racist, because they are not happy that he named a park after a puerto rican military troop. Being puerto rican himself, does that not make HIM ethnocentric? So really, who's the racist? The people who wanted him to poll students in the schools to involve them in the name picking? Or he who names it after something that symbolizes his heritage?

Ethnocentric Bastard!

Soundtrack my life

Just used #SoundHound to find Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. http://bit.ly/99zG0q #nowplaying

Soundtrack my life

Just used #SoundHound to find With or Without You by U2 http://bit.ly/dqb45l #nowplaying

Why is it...

Attorneys cannot work or function unless their assistants are in their offices, watching them do their jobs. They do not let their assistants leave their offices to get other work done. Then the attorneys get upset and accuse their assistants of not doing anything all day other than twiddle thumbs. Makes one want to say, "I have been working all day. I brought a document to you. You said to wait everytime I edged for the door while you were twirling your thumbs. About every seven minutes thereafter for over half an hour, you told le not to leave. Then you got upset that I was standing there, because you told me not to leave. You come into my office at the end of the day to ask what I've done all day then accuse me if doing nothing. I've done plenty. I've held your hand, blown your nose, wiped your rear, washed your dishes, made your coffee, ordered your lunch, paid for it and am waiting a month for reimbursement, cleaned your desk, sharpened your pencil, checked and stamped the mail, placated clients who have not received responses from you, and tried to leave your office several times to draft another document you won't read because your too busy playing on the internet and telling me not to leave your office while you essentially pay me to stand and watch you read things, check your phone, and tell me pointless and boring stories about your life this wasting approximately six hours a day not including lunch. Then you have the audacity to ask me why nothing got done. Did it occur to you how much effort goes into making sure you get the right sized ice cubes you requested? That your pencils get sharpened the exact way you wanted? Your paperclips are facing the direction you requested? Your travel arrangements for your personal life was made? Your children's homework was done? So, yes. I accomplished a lot today. I had to babysit you and play office wife, because you are insecure and needy."

I love when...

People insult you due to their securities then say you're the one with the problem. All the while, the only thing you did was kept your mouth shut, minded your own business, and moved on...

Elocution

"Ferry me across the water,
Do, boatman, do."
"If you've a penny in your purse
I'll ferry you."

"I have a penny in my purse,
And my eyes are blue;
So ferry me across the water,
Do, boatman, do!"

"Step into my ferry-boat,
Be they black or blue,
And for the penny in your purse
I'll ferry you."

Authorship

by Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830-1894) , no title, from Sing-song: a nursery rhyme book, published 1872

I sing when I'm the master of bating...

Why do people feel they need to pry into people's personal lives? It's none of your business if I've ever been married. If I've ever had children. If I have friends. If I'm dating. If I have parents. If I was adopted. What I do in my personal life on my personal time. If I pick my nose, dance naked, and sing when I masterbate.

For all of you nosey people, I was born to a peasant family in 1969. When I was four, I was sold into slavery where I became a sex slave. After getting pregnant and having my child sold, I ran away from my masters at age ten and found a pimp who I came to think of as a daddy. At age 12, I started smoking and drinking with my clients. At age 15, I turned to porn. At age 17, I was arrested and flipped on my pimp. At age 18, I taught myself to read and write. The next year, I put myself through school and got married, had four children, and was beaten every day by my alcoholic husband. Age 23, my masters found me, kidnapped me, physically and mentally tortured me, then left me for dead. Being shamed, I ran away after my escape. I tried to live a clean life, but dirty kept finding me. Age 24, I was in an accident and completely forgot who I was. I went yo school, got a degree, and found myself dating abusive men. The feds found me and put me in the witness protection program when they realized I was the victim of human trafficking. I tried to have a normal life, but no one accepted me. The more they pried, the more I withdrew. I was quiet. They did not trust or believe me. My memory slowly returned in pieces - flashes or what once was but seemed like a lifetime movie. Feeling lost and Alone, I turned to exotic dancing and, later, drugs. In an alley one night, I was found. I was asked, "Do you want to live?" I shook my head. Detox was difficult, but my mysterious savior did not allow me to die. Now I'm 42, and people don't stop asking questions. They feel they are entitled to my life. They want to know more.

Anymore questions?

Rude

A 67 year old woman tapped my head with something. I sternly told her not to hit my head. She laughed and did it again.

Seriously? Are we five? You do not go around hitting people on the head. Tsp the arm maybe but not the head. The fact that she laughed and did it again shows she's rude, immature, and disrespectful. It's not cute at any age to hit a head.

Reality check

What's real for you may not be real for me. You may have a loving family, a nice car, a great job, but do not refuse to accept that we are not the same. We may not have the things you have. You may not have the things we have. Do joy discount or invalidate me simply because you hold your life as the highest standard by which you compare everything else.

Some ethnicities believe that since they are emotionally driven, everyone should wear their emotions on their sleeves. That type of thinking is ethnocentric. Some races think that everyone else should behave exactly as they do. You are not the ultimate principles by which we must model ourselves.

You don't trust us, because we are quiet. You don't trust us, because we speak freely. Which is it? You can't have it both ways. You will never be satisfied unless we are all like you. We don't even like you, so why would we want to be like you?

You are ridiculous, inconsiderate, and racist. Someone said, "You should let people photograph you."

"Why?"

"To remember your life."

"There's nothing wrong with my memory."

"You should still let people take pictures of you."

"It is my personal belief system that prohibits my authorization of people photographing me."

"Why?"

"Do you question people about their religious beliefs?"

"Are you saying you won't take pictures, because of religious beliefs?"

"Are you questioning my religious beliefs?"

"I can't imagine your religion believes you can't take pictures of yourself."

"I can't believe you are arguing with me and basically telling me what my belief system should be and that I should how I should live my life."

"I'm just saying I don't understand why you won't let your friends photograph you."

"It is not for you to understand. You say you are a child of the church- a church that teaches us to accept others as they are, yet you are not accepting of me and seek to change me into your image. You are not my prophet. You are a hypocrite."

As you storm away in anger or frustration, just think of this: some people do not like you. You are lucky there are people willing to tolerate such a narrow minded sheep. We tolerate you, because we value ourselves. You do not accept us, because you are not intelligent in that dimension. People fear that which they do not understand or is not familiar to them. We are all unique individuals. We do not fear you. We do not place enough value on you to care!

Mind your own business and stop being close minded.

Say my name, b-word!

Some of you may remember the title quote from the movie American Pie. While some Orlandons would like to think that "a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet," they are wrong. How we address people, especially in a cultural conglomerate such as Orlando, denotes how we feel towards them and about ourselves.

The "self-fulfilling prophecy" posits that how we feel about people creates the condition for us to be more aware, sensitive, and erroneous about to actions. For example, if Bob has a strong disdain for Sue, Bob is more likely to think everything Sue does is wrong or perceive her actions erroneously.  A simple "hello" from Sue may garner negative emotions from Bob. However, if Bob thought kindly of Sue, he would be less likely to perceive a simple "hello" as hostile.

Accordingly, in an era of text lingo and abbreviations, many people tend to shorten things, including names.  Perhaps "Richard" is not fond of being called "Rich," "Rick," or "Dick." In some extreme cases noted in Orlando, Richard may even be addressed as "Tom" even if Richard's emails and other correspondences contain his proper name.

Those who elect to address Richard improperly by calling him other names are showing that they have a blatant disrespect and disregard for others. They feel they are too important to be polite and show proper etiquette. It is very selfish and rude to continue to address people by names other than their own and against their wishes. Those people have a sense of self-importance and feel they are too busy to show common courtesy.

What about shortening names to only the first letter of the name? That is pretentious in a professional, business realm. It may be appropriate to address your best friend, Barbara, as "B;" however, if someone is hiring or interviewing you, it is highly inappropriate. Would you want to hire someone who shows no courtesy to you or does not respect authority?

Makeup Artists

I'm finding that many #MUA are not very intelligent, do not exhibit professionalism, do not use common sense, & can't follow simple instructions. This is your craft - your business. While many of your clients may be at a lower standard, artists should still carry themselves in the best of ways. Know how to protect your work legally. Even with publication submissions, photographer releases are required. GET ONE! In Florida, model permission to use images is required. How unprofessional can one be to not understand this? How hard is it?

Even though my name was on the correspondence, the artist called me by another name. Know your clients, business associates, and audience. When pointed out, the artist offered no apologies. You aren't even sorry that you don't care to know a client's name?!

Instead of answering the questions in the appropriate area, her responses has to be moved and edited. She has absolutely no writing or basic grammar skills. Way to make artists look literate. You may be a genius with cosmetics, but you are not a genius at other things.

She showed no appreciation for the opportunity afforded her. She did not submit all requested materials. She failed to submit one of the two major components of the assignment. Sure, she may have been busy, but if this is how she is with clients, then she will receive no referrals or business from this author.

Apparently, business etiquette is a lost art.